“This has helped change the course of past actions, patterns and hurts.”
Although many of our favorite stories imply the possibility of “happily ever after”, most of us realize that every human relationship will at some point involve some level of conflict.
The sources are of conflict are almost limitless. Bad moods, fatigue, differences of opinion or family patterns are just a few. The topics we fight about are limitless as well.
However, There is a wide variety of research that would indicate that most couples experience similar amount of conflict about very similar topics. Sex, Money, in-laws, jealousy or even how the household work-load is distributed.
Conflict in a close relationship is inevitable. The question becomes, “how do we restore peace and also be understood”. Most people have a default pattern when responding to conflict. There are avoiders, venters, pleasers, etc. and numerous shades of each. Even our personalities can be a factor in how we approach a conflict.
Our fundamental attitudes toward one another is also a major factor in how destructive a conflict can be, or how long term the effects might be.
It is very important for couples to grow in their ability to understand the source of conflict but also to establish ground rules for working through differences or hurts. This may lead us to the age old discussion of is it about forgiving or forgetting? How do we get back to that loving feeling?
One of the most critical skills we teach is how to ask for and grant forgiveness. It is a truly amazing thing to observe couples go through a process of understanding and caring that leads to not only change in the mood of the moment, but a genuine affection for each other. That is the sweetest part of our involvement with couples.
Conflict resolution may be the most critical skill to establishing a stable and safe long term relationship. Unresolved conflict is an incredibly toxic force in any relationship.
Whether you check out Glü or work on your relationship via the web, we would urge you to find a pattern of resolving conflict that truly lets the past stay in the past and gives you hope for the future.